duri wrote, at the integral retaionship pod:
"What if the passion and juiciness of relating would come not from the romantic projections on each other but from the mutual appreciation of the shared dedication to reaching the next level contribution of the “we” cultural/social evolutio?"

What a good question. The answer is almost obvious: You'll experience a personal growth without comparison. You will find yourself on a rocket, heading directly for any kind of personal growth imaginable - and for a few beyond your imagination. And there will be no barriers or frontiers.
So the next question is "How do we make it, so that the passion... ".

I will try to point towards some answers to this question here. This is not about tantric sex as a way of having enlightened experiences, tantra - in my world - is about a conscious way of working with "what is".

I am a lucky guy.
When I think back on the path of my earlier relationships, i am not impressed. I have been in several (many) relations with beautiful, caring and lovely women. And I lied, cheated and betrayed - even my mistresses.

Five years ago, I met my current wife. Actually we have known each others for more than 20 years, we were even guests at each others first weddings. But our ways separated, and we hadn't seen each other for five years at the time.

It was not love at second sight, it was more of a revitalization of a close friendship. We put our cards on the table. All the cards, face up.

We decided that we would be each others watchdogs. We should help each other always to be honest, always to keep the highest possible perspective.

And since none of us had a partner, we could just as well have sex together. That would prevent us both from falling into the traps of bad relationship, we thought. Of course we could easily fall into that trap together, we realized. So we decidede that our relation could only last for two years. After that we would have to evaluate and decide where and how to go. Together or separate.

That decision made us take great care of our relationship. Our time together would end, we both thought, so we had to take the great care of those two precious years.

We met at the Academy of Music, Aalborg. We worked together (she was singing many of my compositions) and became close friends - we even attended each others weddings. 20 years later we met again and became partners. Some delay... :-)

Very often - severeal times a day - I say "I love you" to my wife. What I really mean when I say those "magic" words is something like "Your precense makes my Self experience the universal force of love, the nondual nature of kosmos and the ever-existing energy of happiness".

Love is impersonal, by nature. Who is the "I" that loves?   and how could that "I" love just one person, unless this person was so very special that she was the one missing piece that made me perfect? - and if she was that single unique piece, wouldn't she have to stay the same, not to destroy the achieved perfectness?
 
My wife is contantly developing new ideas, gaining new insights, developing new skills. And this innner evolution also shows in her outer looks; she get even more beautiful every day. Every time I look at her, I look at a new and improved person - and because I try to keep up, my eyes and the way I see her evolves. Until now my Self have loved every instance of her - and I see no sign of change.

I love the process, and being with her makes me experience constant development. This makes me feel an integrated part of the evolving universe - and this feeling is the experiencce of love. True impersonal love.