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relations
March 2009 
Lets talk about... sex
Posted on Jan 4th, 2009
by 
knudriis
knudriis
One question that often arises when we are talking about tantric relationships and impersonal love goes something like "How do we ensure that sexual spark, when the choice of partner is not based on sexual attraction or falling in love?".
The answer: You do absolutely nothing.
Having sex is like having a conversation. When you start a conversations with a close friend, you don't decide where that talk will take you, or in what form. You simply talk, listen, talk, listen - and the conversation unfolds, sometimes funny, sometimes boring, sometimes enlightening.
When you have sex with you partner, you touch, feel, touch, feel. Same thing. You can decide that "tonight, we will be in the bed together, nakedly and close". Starting there, you have do drop any expectations about what is to happen, how fast, how hot - if anything at all. But being in that moment, close to a naked person of the opposite sex, something will happen. Believe me.
The extra benefit is that sex can turn out better than any imagination produced by your mind . If you seek sexual pleasure based on your dreams and imagination, the experiences that you will achieve will never be better these dreams, because you will compare the reality to your projections. But being in the moment with no script or preoccupation, you might experience an intimacy, togetherness and excitement that you never had imagined possible.
The answer: You do absolutely nothing.
Having sex is like having a conversation. When you start a conversations with a close friend, you don't decide where that talk will take you, or in what form. You simply talk, listen, talk, listen - and the conversation unfolds, sometimes funny, sometimes boring, sometimes enlightening.
When you have sex with you partner, you touch, feel, touch, feel. Same thing. You can decide that "tonight, we will be in the bed together, nakedly and close". Starting there, you have do drop any expectations about what is to happen, how fast, how hot - if anything at all. But being in that moment, close to a naked person of the opposite sex, something will happen. Believe me.
The extra benefit is that sex can turn out better than any imagination produced by your mind . If you seek sexual pleasure based on your dreams and imagination, the experiences that you will achieve will never be better these dreams, because you will compare the reality to your projections. But being in the moment with no script or preoccupation, you might experience an intimacy, togetherness and excitement that you never had imagined possible.
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Wonderfully put! Thanks for sharing your thoughts about this subject. Especially here in the US, people often think that sex and tantra are the same. Obviously, they are connected, but also certainly not the same. For me, establishing that heart-felt connection to another person, bound together through sexual union is beyond words…truly, words are not even necessary! Thanks again, Debi (deMysticWay-er)